Chapter IV: My lure to St Catharines College

1 Why I was admitted to the college

1 A preamble

I was admitted to St Catharine’s college as part of a medical experiment in order that it might be determined whether a substance called ibogaine which had been tested by academics at the University of Miami might in my case, given reports about the drug, aid in terms of theory of mind, something which is said to be deficient in those on the spectrum. I chose classics for the same reason, given that there is an (over)emphasis in the United Kingdom upon soft skills at the expense of hard skills and I felt that such a subject might broaden my mind and help me not to focus solely upon subjects which were systematic in nature.

I should wish to state that

  1. I am against the recreational usage of drugs and this was very much a medical experiment. I had been reluctant to embark upon such an experiment for ten years but elected, after extensive research and much foreboding and preparation, to take a very low dose a few months before my interview. I am against the usage of recreational drugs in part because the promotion of such things has had a deleterious impact upon research into such substances.
  2. It is certainly not a recreational drug and is probably one of the most arduous but “cleansing” experiences one can have. If you will it is the equivalent of one of those arduous rites of passage which certain tribes use in Africa involving being covered in honey and ants
  3. It is a dangerous substance if not handled correctly in that, although there are no psychiatric side effects, there is the risk of death. There was however a bad batch of ibogaine which was bought by the danish government in the 1980s and which was sold on and one had to be careful to avoid purchasing this
  4. All such experiments should take place in clinical facilities under license or otherwise with precautions.

There is just a single reported case of adverse psychiatric effects. This involved a Dr Brackenridge and resulted in a GMC hearing. There are however obvious reasons why this should have occurred in that he did not follow the correct procedure.

  1. I am given to understand that he used the bad batch.
  2. The patient had preexisting mental health issues so such such a reaction seems inevitable given the fact that the Doctor did not adequately prepare the patient by informing him of what would occur.
  3. The doctor according to anecdotal reports gave ibogaine to a patient who had cardiac issues and moreover administered 100mg of the substance as part of the first treatment with a drastic increase to 1400mg of the pure hydrochloride variant on the second treatment. This is the equivalent of giving a sick teetotaller a glass a wine and then asking them to down a bottle of whisky.
  4. Most crucially, the interval between treatments was not sufficiently long and would have entailed adverse consequences.
  5. We do not know what other substances the patient might have been taking.

It was inevitable that the patient would have experienced adverse consequences.

The experience is quite well represented, by the following clip from a Doctor Who episode called Kinda with a few caveats, namely the fact that it does not open doors, turn the lights off, nor is it a shared experience. The end result is that in terms of the mental result one feels like Peter Egan in “ever decreasing circles”.

It is interesting to note that in addition to other documented effects of the drug, namely the fact that it is used for a) those who have a problem with addiction and b) psychological usages, it promotes the growth of brain cells and as such would appear to offer protection and treatment for certain diseases.

According to a study from 2005, ibogaine increases the production of amongst other things a nerve growth factor called glial cell-line derived neurotrophic factor, or GDNF. As a neurotrophic factor, GDNF has three main functions:

  1. protective, meaning that it prevents brain cells from dying.
  2. trophic,” meaning that it promotes the growth of new and existing brain cells.
  3. restorative, meaning that it changes how neurons “talk” to each other in order to enhance certain brain functions.

According to the following study, Lenti‐GDNF Gene Therapy Protects Against Alzheimer’s Disease‐Like Neuropathology in 3xTg‐AD Mice and MC65 Cells. The results are, as follows. “After 6 months of overexpressing GDNF, 10‐month‐old 3xTg‐AD mice showed preserved learning and memory, while their counterparts transduced with a green fluorescent protein vector showed cognitive loss. GDNF therapy did not significantly reduce amyloid and tau pathology, but rather, induced a potent upregulation of brain‐derived neurotrophic factor that may act in concert with GDNF to protect neurons from atrophy and degeneration. MC65 cells overexpressing GDNF showed an abolishment of oxidative stress and cell death that was at least partially mediated by a reduced presence of intracellular C99 and derived amyloid β oligomers”.

Ibogaine also increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) according to a study from 2020: “In addition,we also found a large upregulation of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) expression in the prefrontal cortex after a single ibogaine administration, suggesting that ibogaine may exert an antidepressant-like effect, since an increased BDNF signaling plays a critical role in the antidepressant-like efficacy of selective serotonin uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) in rodents.”

BDNF acts on certain neurons of the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system, helping to support survival of existing neurons, and encouraging growth and differentiation of new neurons and synapses. In the brain, it is active in the hippocampus, cortex, and basal forebrain—areas vital to learning, memory, and higher thinking. BDNF is also expressed in the retina, kidneys, prostate, motor neurons and skeletal muscle and it is also found in saliva.

According to the following study from 2016, it is implicated in Alzheimers”Reduced expression of brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) has a crucial role in the pathogenesis of Alzheimer’s disease (AD), which is characterized with the formation of neuritic plaques consisting of amyloid-beta (Aβ) and neurofibrillary tangles composed of hyperphosphorylated tau protein. A growing body of evidence indicates a potential protective effect of BDNF against Aβ-induced neurotoxicity in AD mouse models”.

Various studies have shown possible links between BDNF and other conditions, such as depression, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, Alzheimer’s disease, Huntington’s disease, Rett syndrome, and dementia, as well as anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Increased levels of BDNF can induce a change to an opiate-dependent-like reward state when expressed in the ventral tegmental area in rats.

As of 2002 clinical trials in which BDNF was delivered into the central nervous system (CNS) of humans with various neurodegenerative disease had all failed.

Indeed when one looks at the countries where Ibogaine is used and where three tribes use it as part of a ceremony, the forest-dwelling Punu people and Mitsogo peoples of Gabon and the Fang people of Gabon and Cameroon, one can see that the incidence per 100,000 people of alzheimers is 20.5521 in Gabon, 20.71062 in Cameroon whereas in the UK it is 42.70212. The fact that these three tribes which do not form a majority of the population use it is no doubt a factor which would explain why the rate of incidence of Alzheimers in those countries is so low.

I am no expert but one might ask why given the above this substance has not been tested more thoroughly as a treatment for addiction and indeed alzheimers and other conditions. Or indeed why I am doing this when Cambridge and the British establishment apparently could not be bothered to and to this day are doing other things (such as engaging in disruption activities against myself) even though this was the reason for my admission and even though I came up and discussed the idea twenty years ago in the presence of someone very senior from the department for health who has since retired.

One can make allegations that this substance would put certain medical companies out of business but I suspect the main reason it has not been researched publicly at least is because the drug would also appear to increase certain abilities which in turn mean that one notices and is less willing to put up with the corruption which occurs in certain western establishments.

It’s a bit like the argument about AI in that, as might have formed a plot for a John Wyndham novel if he were still alive, if they really did come up with an all-seeing all knowing machine, it would make life rather uncomfortable for certain people. Then again you don’t need AI to achieve this.

Indeed it might be said that the finale of the television series the prisoner roughly correlates this in the point he is making that we (or the west) are prisoners of our primitive minds. Or rather the establishment is. It is also why when number six attempts to speak after his “liberation”, he is shut down by a chorus of “I”.


2 The interview

The person who interviewed me at St Catharines College was a Dr Robert Wardy who appeared kindly disposed to me during the interview but who had somewhat of a reputation amongst the college. The college was not my first choice and it was chosen as a secondary option by the university in case I was not selected by my preferred college which was Downing.

About five minutes into the interview, I stated the following “I used to think like Socrates in the Phaedo until I took this African rootbark” whereupon he jumped out of his seat rather animatedly and we spent the rest of the interview talking about what had happened after I had taken this drug. As part of this, he brought in Dr Philip Oliver who was the head of admissions and was present in the adjacent room.

During the interview, I happened to mention that I felt that it was potentially the case that it offered a means of curing one of the deficits associated with autism. Dr Oliver did not say much, but had hushed words with Dr Wardy about admitting me. Dr Wardy will no doubt deny this given that he was friends with Dr Oliver, was a senior fellow within the college and was partly responsible for my admission. It is on record elsewhere however that he broke the law with respect to a data protection request in relation to the harassment which I subsequently experienced and as such his claims should be discounted.

It is difficult to relate how I knew but I felt some kind of mental connection with Dr Wardy which I had not had before and which upon reflection was as a result of my previous tests into the substance. If I am honest I felt uncomfortable at this sensation which turned out to be a high degree of empathy.

This was evident through the fact that I sensed at the outset that it was likely that I was going to be accepted. I was entirely certain of this at the end of the interview and consequently went out to celebrate. I also knew that I would be rejected by Downing College.

Indeed my instincts turned out to be correct and I was awarded an offer of a place

I accepted the eventual offer partly on the basis that there appeared to be an interest in this substance and that, being Cambridge, there would be professional medical facilities for any experiment.

There was no reason to admit me on an academic basis given the fact that

  1. I only had two A levels and an advanced extension award.A levels AEA levels
  2. The proportion of people who received A grades in either Greek or Latin was from memory around 80% in 2009.
  3. The proportion of people who applied to study classics at Cambridge and who were accepted was 32.3% in that year and this is with three A-levels.
  4. The statistics show that such offers only occur in around 0.373% of cases where an individual has less than three A levels. There were 3249 acceptance to Cambridge that year and only 13 such offers.

Screenshot from 2018-10-02 23-04-50

This is known as a matriculation offer which are only granted for exceptionally talented individuals but such talents are not indicated by my grades in classics nor indeed by my A levels.



It might be argued that I was admitted because I am talented in some academic way or that they were being “kind”. The evidence however does not support this.

  1. When I asked to change subjects on two occasions, to MML & Classics in the first instance (in order to encompass French) and Classics & philosophy in the second instance (in order to encompass maths a subject to which I am by nature more suited by nature), my requests were turned down.
  2. Why were they being “kind” to me in particular as opposed to the other candidates? In any case, it’s not as if they were being kind given that my experiences subsequent to matriculating at St Catharines.
  3. Corpus Christi College Oxford rightly rejected my application after interview the previous year. It went so badly that I did not, as is often the case, get an interview at another college.
  4. It is not the only instance whereby the college is involved in medical experiments of this sort. It is alleged that the dean Dr Xuareb performed his own brain operation given that he has some neurodegenerative disorder in which he specializes and has to walk with a stick. As such this further supports my conclusion as to the reasons for my admission.
  5. As related in the previous chapter, St Catharines has historically had a lax attitude to drink and drugs. If I am honest, I was reticent to accept the offer because of the college’s reputation in that respect and hesitated for four days before doing so.

Upon my arrival in college, although I had expected that there would be facilities afforded for the experiment (given that it was Cambridge), no such facilities were available. The experiments instead took place with the understanding that they would, in accordance with the scientific method, observe me from a distance and not interfere.

It is futile to suggest that there was not an implied contract given the fact that

  1. This was the only logical explanation for my admission
  2. This is the way things so often work at Cambridge (a nod and a wink)

I was however asked about my progress in this respect by Dr Oliver on several occasions and whether for instance I was thinking of giving up smoking (I wasn’t in that that wasn’t the purpose of the experiment). Moreover Dr Jeff Daley to whom I never spoke and who specializes in addiction would often smile at me as if he knew what was occurring.

There were no negative reports about my behavior in relation to the experiment or indeed anything else at any time within college despite my asking whether they had anything they wished to raise. This is apart from a single counter-accusation which as I relate in the Chapter seven was clearly false, was subsequently disproven and which occurred because I complained about harassment which I was experiencing. As such it would be silly to claim that there were problems now.

The experiment would however have consequences which neither they nor I foresaw in that it did lead to an increase in certain abilities without any adverse health consequences. Amongst other things

  1. I was able to better perceive things which they don’t want me to perceive such as their corruption and what and who this involved
  2. I learnt how to program and made certain technical discoveries.

It is disconcerting however that such an experiment should have takes place in a recruitment center for the intelligence services of all places, without any form of oversight particularly given the fact that, as I shall relate

  1. The decision to admit me was not made by the college and was made at a higher level
  2. It has been been made beforehand by government based upon surveillance by the intelligence services.
  3. The decision in this respect forms part of a long standing policy in terms of research on the part of the government.


2 How the decision was taken by government to admit me before the interview

1 Why should the government be observing me

1 Introduction

The fact that the intelligence services should be observing me is not unexpected given who I am, given my background and given my ancestry. This isn’t to boast and I don’t really like to mention it but one has to in order to explain the reasons why decisions were taken. I can’t very well say that I come from the Smith family who immigrated to the United Kingdom and became British citizens.

  1. I am Circassian and to be precise of the Abzakh tribe, a race which was renowned for fighting against the then Russian empire for the best part of a century, which eventually lost the battle and which was then deported to the Ottoman empire. We were also renowned for our bravery in that war leading to much Circassophilia in the 19th century amongst others with Lord Palmerston.
  2. It had been thought in the 19th that the origins of the white race were Circassian. Indeed the word Caucasian is based upon the word Circassian.
  3. Our race is supposedly renowned for our beauty leading to many products such as “Circassian Soap”, “Circassian Curl”, “Circassian Lotion”,”Circassian Hair Dye”, “Circassian Eye Water”.
  4. We have historically worked for and formed part of many cities and governments in the middle east and indeed Europe, most notably in Egypt, Jordan and as part of Napoleon’s army. The Jordan Royal guard are for instance Circassian.
  5. My father’s former name before the Turkish government instituted a policy that Turkish citizens had to have Turkish names was “Lişesivdinko”. For what its worth and although it doesn’t matter, this name apparently has princely connotations which would appear to indicate that my ancestors were of a princely caste. Indeed at my birth, the midwife apparently stated to my mother: “You’ve got a prince there” which indicates an awareness of this fact on the part of the authorities.
  6. My father worked in the early 1950s for an Egyptian princess. This evidence can be confirmed by
    1. A foreign ambassador and thus many governments through information sharing.
    2. The fact that my employment by Antony Eden’s secretary which, as I shall relate, correlates with his own employment and the reasons why he was accepted as a British citizen.
    3. The fact that as much has been stated for 50 years. It cannot be claimed that he was dishonest (he wasn’t) or that he had cognitive difficulties, as can be ascertained by his employment at a senior level at ExxonMobil and at Chase Manhattan. As I shall relate, his cognitive difficulties were as a result of several falls which occurred 5 decades after his arrival in the United Kingdom and after he had decided to live in France.
    4. His employment record and the background checks which both companies and their governments will have carried out as part of his employment.
    5. The fact that it would not like good in the eyes of people who are of a similar background to my father to have a situation whereby the UK has a habit of “recruiting” individuals and “discarding” them. This is particularly true in light of the present difficulties with Brexit, the coronavirus with the associated loss of influence for the United Kingdom and the fact that what eventually happened to him would follow a pattern if one looks at what happened to  Sergei Skripal. Indeed other governments/ organisations would no doubt alert potential “recruits” of the fact that the United Kingdom cannot be trusted. Which it can’t
    6. The fact that it was accepted at his funeral by those have access to his papers and who would not have stated as much had it been untrue. The priest also stated as much.

All of these factors would have been of interest to the British government, who of course given that they already held two millions files on British citizens, would have, given the cold war and the need to maintain security (or to give the appearance of maintaining security) vetted and performed background checks on prospective immigrants.

It is reasonable to suggest that that my father, especially given his employment, would have been seen as having important leverage upon a government which

  1. Had been disfavourable to Egypt during and since Suez, even under Harold Wilson, who showed a preference to Israel in the seven day war.
  2. Was viewed as strategically important given that Egypt
    1. Is located at the intersection of communications between the middle east, Russia and Africa (page 28), a continent about which the British government were obviously concerned due to potential Soviet influence.
    2. Had close relations with the Soviet Union, was viewed as the most important in the Arab world .

He was subsequently allowed to immigrate to the UK and to become a British citizen which was comparatively rare at that stage for Turkish nationals.

Indeed the fact that he had information is borne out by where I lived firstly for the first 15 years of my life and indeed what occurred in 2010. I lived in a place called Ide Hill in a house in the middle of the woods. Factors which indicate that this house along with others things was “suggested/allocated” to him on the basis of what he did include the following.

2 The neighbour

As had been the case with my father at the behest of the Egyptian government, the landlord of the local pub, Ron Pelling who was our neighbour (albeit a non-contiguous one) had been declared persona non grata by Iraq.  The reason why my father was declared persona non grata was to do with the fact that the authorities in Egypt were unhappy that he had access to secure information about people within the civil service. This is proven by a) other evidence which is outlined in this section and by b) what occurred some decades later shortly before my admission, as I shall outline shortly.

There are other factors which I shall not mention here but the point was to ensure that my father had “friends”. It is not the only instance.

3 The other neighbours

We lived on an estate which was formerly the hunting lodge of Henry the Eighth where he met Anne Boleyn. This would have been a nod to my father’s personal and employment background. It also just so happens that next door the house which also formed part of that estate was used to house those on the spectrum amongst others. My race (or at least the particular tribe the Adyghe) it should be stated has a high proportion of those on the spectrum if one judges from a) statements my father made, b) statements made by Russians which give the impression that the Circassians are more likely to be neurodiverse and c) other evidence in this regards. It’s just very odd that the fact that I was not on the spectrum was not officially recognized until 26 years later even though I lived next door to a place which helped those on the spectrum.

More importantly, on my father’s bookshelf was a book called “My escape from the CIA and other improbable events“. This was published in 1966 when my father was in Turkey but he did not buy it in Turkey given the fact that English books are few and far between and in buying such a book he would have raised eyebrows given his employment.

One of the stories in that book was The Death of William Faulkner and it just so happens that the house next door which was also on the site of Henry the eight’s hunting lodge was constructed by a Joshua Wilson Faulkner in the 19th century.

The choice of the house by the FCDO, as with other things, would have been made on the basis of the fact that they attempted to or tried to give the subtle impression that he had been chased out of Egypt by the Americans or with American involvement. After all why else would such a “selector” which was pertinent to the reasons why my father came to England appear.

My father would not have chosen the house on the basis that that individual’s name was mentioned in the book because its not a very good book and it takes up one chapter. And indeed he was not the sort of person who would have ever considered drawing attention to himself in that way.

I say that the FCDO attempted to give the impression because my parents apparently wanted to leave Turkey due to the way they were treated and moved out on the basis of that. Such behaviour will however have been instigated in order to fish my father out of Turkey because of the policy to get rid of Nasser and because the information my father held could have been used as leverage to ensure his end. He stated that his departure partly had something to do with the fact that he converted from Islam to Catholicism but this cannot have been the reason why he moved to the UK in that

  1. My mother was Belgian, which was then a strongly catholic country and they would have gone there whereas if we are talking about racial tolerance
    1. The UK had problems with Catholicism especially in Northern Ireland which had just started its civil war between the Catholics and Protestants.
    2. This was just after the rivers of blood speech so it hardly makes sense to invite someone to England from a country which was not even in the commonwealth.
  2. This is a country which had secularism enforced by the military something which included but which was not limited to coups.

He also spoke of the “mentality” as being a reason but then the mentality is one which from my experience is shall we say one which is liable not to prevent interference by the British of one form or another.

4 The general area

In addition to the house next door built by a William Faulkner and the other neighbours one should also point out that this was the same wood where Winston Churchill and Lord Wolff, the conquerer of Quebec had lived and that moreover we used to use swim in the swimming pool of a neightbour who was a relative of Air Cheif Marshall Dowding. For he was commander-in-chief of Fighter Command, Royal Air Force.

To add to this one can look at the fact that next door to the Landlord of the fox and hounds was the ruined mansion of Lord Weardale who married Countess Alexandra Tolstoy (1856–1934), granddaughter of the German-born Russian Count Georg von Cancrin. This will have been a nod to my name and the fact that my father was considered incorrectly to be Russian and correctly to have been of a certain backgroun.

5 Other friends

We were close friends with a couple from Penge one of whom like my father had in Egypt worked for the Royal family at some stage.

It cannot be regarded that someone who worked for the British royal family stayed during Christmas 1984 at the house of someone who

  1. Worked for the Egyptian royal family.
  2. Was himself of a similar background to that family.
  3. Had passed on information to Her Majesty’s government about the Egyptian government.
  4. Lived on the place where another member of the royal family, Henry the eighth’s had a hunting lodge and had proposed to Anne Boelyn.

Indeed to add to this, it is rather strange that whilst we are all sat together the clown, George Carl, should appear on the television on my then favorite program, Paul Daniels.

6 What this indicates about what he passed on

Overall the fact that the British government went to these considerable lengths in his case and indeed, as I outline, would do so in mine, does tend to indicate the fact that the information he passed on was of especial importance. Indeed it just so happens that not long after my father immigrated to England, General Nasser was assassinated so the information he passed on, it would seem fair to conclude, will have most likely have been in relation to bringing this to effect in some way. No doubt by blackmailing a civil servant to do the dirty on him.

It should be stated that we were never informed of why he was being rewarded in this way, presumably on the basis that my father was unaware of the importance of information he passed on and because by being “kind”, the British could ensure that we would be loyal for ever more and put up with rubbish healthcare and education. Or indeed mistreatment as would occur later on.

And the education and healthcare was appalling if one compares it to that which was provided by Belgium amongst others. Especially in his case given how he was treated towards the end of his life and in what circumstances he died.

7 Other people later on

This and, as I shall relate, the decision to admit me for experiments would appear to be born out by the fact that I would go on to work as a gardener for a Mrs Pauline Lewes who had worked as a secretary at 10 downing street for two former prime ministers (Anthony Eden and Harold Macmillan) and described the wife of Anthony Eden as somewhat uppity and Mr Eden as having mood swings.

Anthony Eden was of course responsible for the Suez crisis and it is no coincidence that I, as the son of someone who had been allowed to immigrate and become a British citizen for reasons which would appear to pertain to Suez and Egyptian policy, should work for her. It is knowing nod to the reasons why my father was allowed to immigrate.

I should emphasize that I knew nothing about this at the time, nor indeed the intelligence services and simply put word out that I was looking for work as a gardener. I did not choose her, she asked for help from me.

She also herself happened to be a former Latin teacher at Queen Mary College London and supplied me with some books which are now present in the St Catharines College library. One could state that in some sense at least she was also a teacher.

Additionally during this period, as part of my weekly lessons on the way back from working as a gardener, a friend of hers who had put me in contact with her would offer free weekly tutorials. As part of this, as someone who had been newly diagnosed with an autistic spectrum condition and who for some strange reason wanted to go to Cambridge, I would walk past aerodrome where Douglas Bader who was portrayed in the film “Reach for the sky” trained every Monday.

This does all seem rather too coincidental not to have been arranged, given the fact that I was no doubt seen as someone who could improve their situation somewhat and given the fact of what has occurred since which you might feel bears some resemblance to the life of Douglas Bader, albeit not with an outcome which was favorable to the rather corrupt civil service.

At the outset therefore it is reasonable to state that I was under surveillance at a lower lever to that which I later experienced. I can cite earlier examples such as the fact that I used to stay with an elderly couple who lived in Penge on most weekends. It would be difficult to regard the fact that the wife had at one stage worked for the British royal family as coincidental given the fact that, as stated, my father had worked for the Egyptian royal family and had, as part of the reasons why he was allowed to immigrate, passed on information to a civil service which worked on behalf of the British royal family.

There are other examples of arranged friendships/informers. In many instances I either do not feel that it is appropriate to mention their real or full name given the age they were when it occurred or mention them at all. In others I do feel it is justified given that such behavior is ongoing even if it is rather dissapointing that they should attempt to be “friends” and act in this way. It To give just a few examples however, one can cite the following, some of whom are already mentioned

  1. Before Cambridge, a non exhaustive list includes
    1. Someone with the initials C B who I met in the nineties and who later turned up in Moscow at the same restaurant at the same time. Indeed as mentioned, I lived next door to a place where people on the autistic spectrum were residents, and it just so happens that so did he and he was the one who initiated the acquaintance. In light of everything else and his later appearance in Moscow, it would be difficult to argue that this was “coincidental” and he will have been an informer/arranged friendship from the outset.
    2. Another person whom I met in the nineties who apparently had a personality disorder who later turned up at the same small place where I went on holiday, Given the fact that the location of which had not been decided until I arrived there, one cannot regard this as a coincidence.
    3. An acquaintance who had previously taken too much LSD, who had become permanently ill as a result and who turned up in Cambridge.
  2. During and after Cambridge, all of the people who were closest to me came under the same category. A non-exclusive list includes
    1. Michael Hauser Raspe, as well as one of his friends.
    2. Fred in the section “Why Salisbury and the Skripals were chosen” with as well as his general entourage.
    3. Terry, as mentioned above as well as his general entourage, one of whom stayed next to me in second year when I was living off site.
    4. A neighbour in third year when I was staying, ironically in Sherlock court, who had the same surname as Terry.
    5. A tutor who was friends with someone from Amadeus Capital Partners and had taught one of the Hausers.
    6. Dr Oliver who minded Gareth Williams and who is now dead
    7. Andrea Chlebikova as I outline here.
    8. With gusto, people in fourth year thanks to the efforts of Kang Tchou amongst others.
    9. I could talk about the place where I stayed during 2013 when I worked at Pembroke college but this would perhaps act to identify people of a certain age.
    10. It would seem improbable to suggest that someone who used to hang around in the MCR and who used to go to the Cambridge intelligence seminars and who used to disappear to Finland on occasions on the basis that he was Finnish when he was not would not have been an informer. Only people who work for the intelligence agencies are invited to the CIS.
    11. People present at Adams House and Partage St Francois in Canada who, as I will mention, used to do much the same as St Catharines did by for example damaging/tampering with my possessions. In this respect it is worth mentioning the efforts I made to mention infiltration which would have been ignored and would have been one of the reasons for reprisals given the employment of Cameron Ortis.
    12. A person called Omer, although who he works for is difficult to ascertain given the following which outlines the fact that Turkey and the UK have close relations in all fields. So either he was working for British intelligence and the government in Turkey turned a blind eye or he was working for the Turkish government. Either way, there cannot be any attempt to do what was attempted in Russia with their government and to ensure that I go to the United Kingdom or am prevented from reached my preferred destination. This is because
      1. There is no reason for this to occur, given that
        1. There has been a refusal to request to the IPT to know whether the British government might like to state why they are engaging in disruption activities. What they are doing is thus illegal.
        2. They have not taken any action when I was on British territory most notably at the British consulate in Istanbul.
      2. To do so would confirm the fact that I hold significant and true information.

I could also talk about people who are informers/arranged friends with people whom I know but unless it is absolutely necessary, they would find it discomforting so I won’t. It would however be rather pointless to claim that any of these individuals nor indeed any countries which in any case have a record of lying on your behalf (with respect to Salisbury and so on) have anything to say about myself given that had there been anything to say, steps would have been taken to shut me up about amongst other things which are revealed on this website, about brexit and efforts to stop it, particularly given the fact that the entirety virtually of the western establishment was against it.


2 To add to the military aspect

I should also like to state why I had chosen Cambridge. I did so on the basis of the fact that I formerly held a fixed interest in things related to Acorn computers and whilst that company had long disappeared off the scene, I admired what I had considered to be a mindset which seemed to suggest that Cambridge did not possess the more establishment or traditional way of thinking. In fact initially I was not really all that aware or bothered that there was a university at Cambridge when I had a fixed interest in Acorn and it was that interest or rather the mindset which led me to consider studying at Cambridge.

I also did so because of the actor Anthony Andrews. This was not as one might think, as is quite often the case with those who apply to Oxbridge, because I was a fan of the television show for which he is perhaps most famous, Brideshead Revisited but because I had watched another series in which he played the lead which was Danger UXB. For those who have not heard of the program, it depicts the operations of a “tunneling company” who were responsible for bomb demolition during the blitz in world war two.

I had wanted to do what they had done given the sense of duty, bravery and indeed equality (those higher up the scale, the officers did the actual bomb demolition). The unfortunate fact was that London had by that stage rather run out of WW2 bombs to defuse and I did not fancy using modern technology to defuse other bombs in Afghanistan. In any case as someone on the spectrum, one is not permitted to join the British army (although Israelis on the spectrum are permitted to join the IDF)

I felt the next best alternative would be Cambridge given that the people in the series most notably “Ivor Rodgers” went to Cambridge and that it would be the sort of place where such things as I valued would be apparent. This was however, given my subsequent experience of Cambridge a profound misjudgement but I suppose it is true to state that I did manage in a very real sense to do in Russia something equivalent to what the tunneling company did in London, even if that was rather unappreciated by the UK with its corrupt intelligence services and indeed Russia.

There was also a nostalgia aspect in that the series seemed to depict of a combination of my boarding school and the houses in Penge where I used to stay in London on most weekends when I was very young.


3 How should the government know about my interest

There was of course the preexisting interest in myself by government.

More importantly however, it also so happens that I first mentioned my interest in the potential for an experiment with the substance nearly two decades ago on a repeated basis to someone who worked within the health service and who shortly afterwards become a very senior civil servant, in fact the most senior civil servant within his field.

The reason why he will have been involved in the decision, most probably by way of the provision of advice, is as follows

  1. Such vetting as would be necessary to be admitted to a college with strong links to the intelligence services and to take part in medical experiments in such a sensitive location must have been authorised by government and would have involved the advice of the medical profession.
  2. He knew me on a personal basis and would have been best placed to advise.
  3. The substance was such that given his particular specialism he will have had an interest in it.
  4. He would have been the easiest person, given his employment as a civil servant, for others within the civil service to ask for advice.
  5. His early retirement in 2017 which occurred for reasons which I shall relate below and which relate to what occurred with the experiment. He is however still employed by the United Nations.
  6. I met him at a place called “Langley” which is a rather odd coincidence to say the least given government authorised experiments involving that individual. Perhaps the choice of the person from that place meant that they felt that could have some form of plausible deniability. And indeed to that effect, he looked exactly like Mulder from the X-files and got ribbed by his colleagues when I pointed it out.

The person who provided the medical advice with respect to the experiment can only feasibly be said to be that individual who amongst other things

  1. Like the chief scientific advisor he went to St George’s college and has had about the same effect upon the country, given his involvement in what occurred.
  2. He did not know what he was doing and stated as much.
  3. He gave money to someone in the form of welfare whom he knew would spend that money on drugs who later died of a brain hemorrhage.
  4. He dosed up someone with a bucket full of drugs who after they had recovered later became a world champion (I think bronze) in martial arts.
  5. He like others did not follow safety procedures, an ECG, with the result that a drug had to be withdrawn from the market.
  6. He became a senior medical advisor in his field which would pertain to the main use of ibogaine.
  7. He took early retirement for the reasons I explained.
  8. Something else….


4 When the interest in my admission arose

After electing not to proceed with the experiment for a period of a decade, I then, as a result of my deserved rejection to study classics at Corpus Christi College Oxford, decided that, after preparation and further research, I would take a very light dose in the Summer of 2009 and apply to Cambridge in the October of that year.


  1. The fact that I had discussed this with someone who used to work at the home office in January 2009 and had researched the matter online subsequent to my failed interview immediately after which I had decided to apply to Cambridge.
  2. What I related in terms of my background and the reasons why my father became a British citizen
  3. The fact that potentially GCHQ had some interest in the fact that I had developed an encryption program which apparently no-one could crack some years previously.
  4. The phones were tapped, something I was alerted of, by someone who used to work for The Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food in 2001.

It is rather significant that the following should have occurred within a short space of time, in an increasing scale of significance.

  1. During January 2009, after my interview for Corpus Christ and after I had expressed my interest in the potential for experiments, someone uploaded episodes of “The Omega Factor” and “Codename Icarus”. You can see the dates which are given here This is pertinent given what occurred during and subsequent to my admission and given the fact that the name “fishcat” can be translated as a “cat”, which is short for someone from “St Catharines” who was “fishing” for my interest which would have occurred based upon
    1. The fact that it would have been known that I like old science fiction programs and liked Doctor Who (the old series). Science fiction is obviously not real but has a basis in reality as I shall relate.
    2. The surveillance of myself and a consequence awareness of the fact that I was intending to proceed with the experiments.
    3. The fact that Johnathan Allen of St Catharines college was in charge of and in fact had set up a modern equivalent of the Information Research Department known as the Research, Information and Communications Unit (RICU). This is a shadowy unit whose stated purpose is to prevent extremism amongst Muslims by means of “strategic communications” and which forms part of the Office for Security and Counter-Terrorism (OSCT). The official function of this body is to manage the home office’s relationship with the security service but it is certainly not unimaginable that RICU was and is used for other purposes such as communicating or attempting to elicit the interest of someone like myself.
    4. They chose some TV shows and films on the basis of search terms of “selectors” partly in the hope of eliciting my interest as can be seen above and partly so they could base their plans on them as they did with Iraq (Reference Nicholas cage and the rock) moreover based their plans, as is policy judging by Iraq, on television shows. To that end they also chose instance of what is, as I shall explain, a historic policy, on a film and television show.
      1. The chose to elicit my interest with “The omega factor” and in particular episode 7 based upon the following selectors
        1. A program which is similar to Chocky and which starred James Hazeldine. They could not have chosen Chocky because it would perhaps have appeared too obvious as to what their intentions were and such a story being based upon “ghosts” and being rather badly written would afford plausible deniability. I relate this and why the story Chocky is important below.
        2. An actor who had starred in Doctor Who: Louise Jameson.
        3. The mention of “Cambridge” and “experiments” in episode 7.
        4. My forename which is the same as that of the producer.
        5. What they felt I might achieve through the experiment which they felt belonged in the same category as  MKUltra. The fact that they felt this and knew about the potential of the experiment is indicated by what occurred in the years subsequent to what occurred.
      2. They chose to elicit my interest with Codename: Icarus based upon the following selectors.
        1. The fact that the “education” in the program takes place at what a is in real life Farleigh school. Farleigh is where, a Pauline Lewes, the former private secretary to Anthony Eden lived, as is explained below lived. Moreover he is taught in the program by someone called Mr Farleigh. ıt just so also happens that Mrs Lewes had also been a classics teacher at Queen Mary College London and had to some extent educated me by providing me with books.
        2. A college
          1. Where I would be told how lucky I was
          2. Where I would provide scientific or other information of significant value. The fact that this does appear to have occurred albeit as they aware indeed aware not to their advantage would appear to be confirmatory of what they were in fact intending.
          3. Where I would be subject to medical treatment
          4. Which along with many in the civil service acts on behalf of international rather than national interests.
          5. Where I would not be let free to go. I am not present at the college admittedly but they are rather averse to letting go of me which explains amongst others things, the misuse of INTERPOL and indeed the subsequent promotion (as I relate in the chapter six) of so many members of the college to powerful positions within government where they can and do have responsibility for the liasing with international organisations.
      3. A program known as “Knights of God” which was written by the author of Project Icarus, Richard Cooper. They could not have chosen that program because it would perhaps have appeared too obvious as to what their intentions were. As such they initially chose this on the basis of the following selectors and then selected Codename: Icarus
        1. An actor who plays Doctor Who: Patrick Troughton along with actors from doctor who including John Woodvine who plays Prior Mordred and indeed one other whom I shall call Terry where he also plays someone called Mordred.
        2. Gervase Cowell: The name of the “hero” is called Gervase who works against (or is meant to) an enemy.
        3. The fact that my name is changed twice (once in England and once in Turkey) an apparently has some kind of “princely connotations”: Gervase has his name changed and is of course the legitimate king of England.
        4. My name: Gervase is played by someone called George Winter.
        5. The fact that I am classed (incorrectly) as disabled: So is George Winter
        6. The fact that I was going to be a mature student: So was George Winter.
        7. My lineage: I am supposedly of a princely background (like Danny Dyer) and so is Gervase.
        8. I didn’t know it: Neither did he.
        9. Catholicism: The author is a catholic
        10. The reasons for my admission: Gervase or George is reeducated through medical treatment as indeed was the intent with me.
        11. Working as part of the Government: In both cases, this involves someone being recruited with the use of medical treatment.
        12. Corruption (including infiltration): In both cases, it pertains to someone who either does or who is though to perhaps work for a corrupt government.
        13. Blake: The actor who played his father is most famous for playing “Blake” in Blake’s seven. That Blake is a reference to another George, a Mr George Blake and they probably selected it on the basis that they thought I might work for Russia and leak information, given that the college had a history in this regards and given the fact that they think, as signified by the fact that another individual from the foreign office would later on, a Miss Julia Peterson, that Circassian is the same as Russian. Or indeed it could be a reference to what my father did with regards to Egypt.
        14. Terry: He also in another television show plays a conman who has the same name and appearance as someone who tried to “befriend” me at Cambridge and who claimed to be on the spectrum but strangely had lots of friends. He also went to Cambridge. One can judge that, not for the first time with respect to “friendships”, he was awarded a place on the basis that I might apply and not on the basis of his academic qualifications given the fact that
          1. His academic performance was poor indeed to the extent that he failed his degree.
          2. It might have been felt necessary to have someone in reserve to befriend me just in case I did apply to Cambridge on the basis of the experiments given that at the point when he applied in 2007
            1. It had been known that I had an interest in the experiments but I had not stated that I would like to proceed at that point. There was however the potential that I might.
            2. I had not decided whether to apply for Oxford or Cambridge.
        15. Paul Jericho: An actor who plays a martinette type educator/guard in this program and indeed famously also played a martinette type PE teacher known as Mr Hicks in Grange hill. This and the series which has a strange combination of militarism and religion is a refer to a boarding school which also had a strange combination of militarism and religion and which I went to a few days after the series began to be broadcast in an adjacent ITV region in 1987. We in fact had Thames television and I did not at the stage when it was broadcast have a fixed interest in doctor who and did not thus watch it. The headmaster at the school was indeed a martinette and there were ex-forces people there but there was no injustice or indeed bullying as one might find today. He also famously starred in a  Doctor Who series called the five doctors where he is most memorable for his line “Not the mind probe” which was another reason why he was chosen.
      4. The Lawnmower Man, given the following factors.
        1. It is a exaggerated instance of a historic policy which as I explain below can be seen if one examines the background to the series Chocky.
        2. Jobe Smith, the lawnmower man was
          1. Played by a Jeff Fahey which does sound is where they got the place “Farleigh” from and moved onto everything else in terms of the people and location.
          2. Was abused by a catholic priest and was abandoned at an early age to be looked after by them. I might have inaccurately been considered to have been so in that the school was more military in nature.
          3. Was into his comic books. I was into Doctor Who partly because I am Circassian and because I am on the spectrum.
          4. A gardener or rather lawnmower man. I would do gardening for someone and would be invited to the place in Farleigh to do so. Indeed, when I needed a little bit of help with some aspects of the Latin and Greek syllabus for the A levels, I came across a list of teachers whereupon I asked someone who had worked at the home office to ring around on my behalf. Greek students and indeed teachers are very rare in England. In fact in the year 2013, only 273 students took Greek A level. Supposedly, just by accident, the person who eventually offered their services was catholic like myself, did so for free, looked after someone who was disabled, lived near an aerodrome where Douglas Bader, had a bus stop right outside their house (buses routes are very spread out in that part of the country) and indeed was friends with Pauline Lewis. They also talked, seemingly as a non-sequitur at the time, about how a student of theirs had had to leave the university (Lampeter) because of bullying which in retrospect, given that I was accepted by St Catharines and given what occurred does seem unlikely to be coincidental. It does indicate that this was arranged and it would have been known that I was unhappy but not ungrateful at the free help and was especially keen to do something in exchange. As such when I offered my help, the “job” which came up was gardening. They will also have been arranged on the basis of their friendship on the basis that it had been known that I had an interest in the experiments and as an insurance, just in case I were to proceed, Pauline Lewis was available.
          5. Is an “intellectually” disabled person. I am on the spectrum and that is considered incorrectly to be an intellectual disability.
        3. It stars an actor who played James Bond as the person doing the experiments. The intelligence services or rather the body which overseas them was overseeing things in my case. Indeed the person who I did gardening for at Farleigh was, as I shall explain, Anthony Eden’s personal secretary
        4. It involves experimental treatments to remove certain mental “impediments”. This might apply to empathy and indeed what has occurred since does indicate that. The purpose is to create ultimate big-brained super soldier and indeed the ending bears some similarity to what would occur when I was at Pembroke college and indeed since although it is more true to state, given what happened, that they wanted to parasite. Things did not quite turn out like that however given that this resulted in the United Kingdom leaving to the European Union.
    5. It does tend to confirm the fact that I was regarded as important because my father passed on significant information to the British government as part of a quid pro quo of which he was unaware.
    6. Moreover
      1. If one looks at
        1. The head of RICU who send such communications was Johnathan Allen who was an undergraduate during a period when Dr Oliver was a fellow and whose information Dr Oliver will have had access to during his period at the college.
        2. The history of St Catharines college and its members involving corruption and Russian infiltration and the fact that such infiltration was
          1. Concealed and only uncovered by the local police and
          2. Not properly dealt with according to the person, Jock Kane who highlighted the matter,
        3. The nature of the programs chosen with Codename Icarus and The Omega factor being about working for infiltrators working against the interests of the state as part of and amongst other things which they develop things, Knights of god which is about overturning the state
        4. My tutor, Dr Oliver, who as I relate later worked for Russia and
        5. Three other people who were Russian and attempted to befriend me thinking that I am of Russian origin (I am not considered to be so).
        6. The later attempts to conceal infiltration.
      2. it does even without reference to anything else, tend to suggest that there are elements within the British state who are working not for the British state but for the Russian one or indeed on the part of other interests (Hermann Hauser and laterly Professor Simon Baron Cohen) but more specifically the Russian state. More specifically it is about a culture of corruption and self-interest involving dodgy deals which of course leads to blackmail by the Russian state which is, according to Jock Kane, their speciality. Obviously one might state that had that been the intention in my case as would seem to be the approach, they wasted their time, given that not only I am not working for either British or Russian intelligence nor indeed any intelligence service but I also revealed infiltration.
  2. On Wednesday the 25th of February of that year, the spitting image of myself who was into body building appeared on YouTube. He has since disappeared and was into what can be put politely as “modelling“. I too happened to be into weightlifting at the time although I wasn’t particularly good. I would later be due to the experiments. They will again have been aware of the fact that the experiments would have led to such an outcome.
  3. On Monday the 2nd of March of that year, Corpus Christi College Oxford was mentioned in the news due to the fact that one of their team who won that year’s University Challenge had apparently broken the rules because they had not declared the fact that they had graduated. This can perhaps be said to signify the fact that someone was perhaps trying to suggest that the decisions in relation to the college do not occur in a fair and square basis and I might like to have another try somewhere else, such as St Catharines, particularly given the fact that the host of University Challenge is none other than Jeremy Paxman, a member of St Catharines, where I was of course later admitted.
  4. Later on in June of that year, I stated that I wished to do some gardening and was put in touch with the aforementioned Mrs Pauline Lewis who lived at house called Tythe Barne in Farleigh in Surrey. In addition to the fact that what was related above (she worked for Anthony Eden and so on), she happened to have
    1. Studied classics
    2. Been to Cambridge.
    3. Had been a classics tutor.
    4. The same name as someone who was married to one of John Wyndham/s ancestors who was also called John Wyndham. As you can see, it popped up on a google search just now when I put in the words “Pauline Lewis” and Farleigh after I became fully aware of the reasons for my admission and after I carried out an unrelated searchWhy does this matter? Because it is pertinent to the fact that, as I relate below in the section on Chocky and John Wyndham, this was one of the criteria why she was chosen and it is a subtle nod to what was about to occur to me.
    5. Live in a house which even if it was not a bungalow which was not nearly as big was bore some resemblance in terms of its architecture, its colour and the environment where it was situated to the place where I grew up. They both had white wooden cladding, were of a cape cod design, were in a rural area, had a gravel drive and presumably meant to make me feel at home. As it did, because I used to remark upon this and say that it reminded me of the house where I grew up.
    6. Stated on more than one occasion how she used to visit the place where I grew up with her husband and described it as “a very special place”.
    7. Been resident within a kilometer of a relative of mine who worked for the foreign office.
    8. Worked for, as mentioned, Anthony Eden which is of course pertinent to the reasons why my father was allowed to immigrate to the United Kingdom something which again confirms the fact that my father held important information.
    9. The government would have carried out through a search with certain selectors and come across her name.
    10. Been chosen based upon the above selectors in much the same way as the next individual would be.
  5. In terms of “making me feel at home” and of knowing my preferences, I would after my admission, meet the son of the founder of Acorn computers, a company which I had of course much admired. It has been known that I had a fixed interest in things Acorn and arm related ten years previously and indeed there had been complaints about this. Michael would attempt to be friends with me but due to his drug and alcohol issues, which I shall come onto later, we fell out and I would make strenuous attempts to avoid him or his friends and indeed the college site with the odd exception of areas where I felt that it would be likely that I would not encounter such people.
    1. During the night before the start of my first term at the college which is known as matriculation, the college or part of it went to Vodka Revs in Cambridge as part of a “get to know you” session with the other students. When I was there, I met none other than the son of the founder of Acorn Computers, a Michael Hauser Raspe who was a student at the college and who was for some strange reason extraordinarily not to say unduly keen to be friends with me. I did not know who he was at the time and he came up to me and invited me outside for a chat and said “Have you heard of Acorn Computers”, to which I thought “How odd that someone should remember Acorn” and replied “Yes” to which he in turn replied “My father is the founder”.
    2. It wasn’t a coincidence due to the above and the fact that the college happens to be a recruitment centre for GCHQ as I would discover later and they will have had access to my browsing records through a program called Karma police (whether this program is still in operation or indeed accurate is another matter given the fact that GCHQ falsify evidence as related here) and they will have noted the fact that I accessed websites in relation to Acorn.
    3. A further indication of the fact that there was an awareness of my interest can be seen in the micromen docudrama which was broadcast on Thursday the 8th of October 2008. If you look at the intro, they talk about how three individuals became rich as a result of the microcomputer boom and how they have a positive attitude to life and never take no for an answer, as was the case when I reapplied to university subsequent to my rejection by Corpus Christi the previous year (and indeed St Andrews). Of no small note is the fact that two of the three individuals who are mention have the same name as myself and my brother, (The other is Sir Clive Sinclair and I was not a Sinclair afficionado at the time and can be discounted) which seems too improbable to be coincidental particularly in light of the previous points. The timing of the broadcast of the docudrama is also significant in that it was a week before the UCAS for applications to Oxford and Cambridge and it can be taken as encouragement to apply to Cambridge. The usage of the names, particularly given the fact that I would be admitted to the same college as Michael Hauser Raspe, does confirm that the government held my family to be of some importance.
    4. İn this sense and not unlike the experience with Mrs Lewes, it is not unlike this clip from the episode of the 1967 series “The Prisoner” where number 6 is asked about his breakfast preferences, albeit without the visible prison, village and so on.  With respect to the village however, it is notable of course that it does resemble a Cambridge college.

With reference to Michael, if we are talking about “selectors”, one can note many similarities between myself and Hermann Hauser, namely my interest in things Acorn, the fact that we share the same birthday and indeed have the same relative with the same name (I won’t say which). As such it is rather odd that Daniel Zeichner was chosen as the Labour candidate for Cambridge in 2006 given that like Dr Hauser, he is of Austrian origin, went to Kings at the same time and did computers before he became an MP and given that like myself he grew up in Beckenham and had parents who were grateful (or rather made to feel grateful) that they could come to England.

He was thus selected on the basis of who Dr Hauser is and who I am something which cannot have anything to do with the possibility of arranging a meeting, given that as a non-constituent that is not possible and given that as a constituent of Cambridge you can arrange meetings directly either through his company or indeed through a friend of his.

As such his purpose will have been to act on behalf of Dr Hauser in case of any “dispute”. As to why he did not become and MP in 2010, that’s an interesting question which would necessitate a look at the polls. As you can see from a compilation of Yougov polls, there was a mishap which meant that there was an unexpected swing towards the liberal democrats at the expense of Labour.

This was not meant to happen and occurred due to Nick Clegg’s unexpectedly strong performance in the television debates which meant that Labour did not win that constituency as had been thought probable and as would have been the case.


3 How such experiments are historic government policy

I mentioned the fact that John Wyndham’s name popped up in a search for Pauline Lewes. Matters in relation to that author, namely what was related in the novel Chocky, was one of the criteria as to why there was an arrangement for me to work with her. It was a reference to what was to follow.

To be clear all British (and indeed especially Soviet) science fiction is an allegory for things which have occurred or will occur in real life but which cannot be related by an author due to censorship or secrecy laws or because they form part of attempts to subvert the political process. For example, the Doctor Who story “Curse of Peladon” is an allegory of the wish on the part of the British state for the United Kingdom to become part of the European Community. Its sequel, the Monster of Peladon pertains to the 1975 referendum as to whether the United Kingdom should remain a member. The BBC could not be seen campaigning openly for this so they chose another more secret method involving a family television show.

In the case of Chocky, this is an allegory for the fact that the British government have had a policy since the second world war of carrying out medical experiments/extracting information in much the same manner as is recounted in this novel. This fact can be ascertained by

  1. The appearance of the name John Wyndham in the above context as well as his background and knowledge of events
  2. My comments on twitterand the reaction on the part of GCHQ as I relate belwo.
  3. What occurred subsequent to my admission.

It is not so hard to imagine that such a program should exist given that

  1. One has to only look to the United States to see a similar program which was operated by their government called MKULTRA. This only came to light as a result of a break in at the FBI offices which led to the revelation of COINTELPRO which in turn led to the Church committee which in turn led to a request for information in relation to this program from the CIA. The CIA destroyed most of their documents in relation to this program
  2. The British government is famously more secretive (it is said that watergate would have been concealed had it occurred in the UK). They have nonetheless revealed the fact that they operated at least one similar programs in the UK and leak information to the effect that such a program does exist as one can see below.
  3. To secure an advantage over what they deem to be rivals, they do go to considerable lengths.

One should start by talking about John Wyndham


1 About John Wyndham and the ministry of information

John Wyndham worked in what amounts to intelligence in the second world war as part of the Ministry of information where, alongside George Orwell, he was responsible for censoring information which was considered sensitive.

Given the fact that

  1. As an employee of the civil service, he would have worked under Cambridge graduates and would have known what occurs at Cambridge and other parts of the establishment
  2. He would have had to have access to sensitive information in order to censor it
  3. Such information would, given that the United Kingdom still had the British empire, would have had to have come from throughout the world
  4. Such information includes instances of things they would consider embarrassing to the United Kingdom which it had been noticed was already on the decline before WW2, a decline which they wished to arrest.
  5. The fact that as part of a need for national survival due to world war 2, the United Kingdom would have grabbed anything they could lay their hands on by fair means of foul under the relevant legislation. And given the bankruptcy of the United Kingdom and the fact that there was a decision taken to plan for peace in the same way as they had planned for war and thus replicate the existing structures after the war and given the increase in corruption since that war, such a policy would have continued after the end of the war.
  6. He would have inevitably known about things like Inverlair lodge and indeed instances where psychiatrists were employed to elicit information and indeed similar things within the establishment in general such as corporate spying.
  7. He burnt all his papers.
  8. I had a similar experience to that which is related in the novel.

The novel Chocky can be seen as a veiled comment upon the way the state sometimes takes the decision to acquire information as well as their attitude towards it.


2 The fact that such programs do exist

The fact that there are such programs is confirmed by GCHQ, as one can see from the reaction in the form of access to this website to the following scribbles by myself on a private twitter account where I discuss how Chocky could perhaps be said to be allegorical to my experience.

One can tell that the accesses originate from GCHQ headquarters and that it is confirmation of what I state given:

  1. The fact that Cheltenham is where the headquarters of GCHQ is located.
  2. The domain name and content of this website, as well as the fact of who I am and what college I went to.
  3. This website is hidden from google and all major search engines as a result of which they tend to come infrequently from those in the know and who monitor such things as a consequence, i,e, government entities.
  4. The particular pages accessed would imply that someone had foreknowledge of the website which given that these are the only accesses from Cheltenham would indicate that it is GCHQ.
  5. The infrequency and timing would appear to be in response to things which I have stated and involves an apparent attempt to distract by accessing an article which mentions infiltration. This is known as the dead cat strategy. You mention something shocking in order to distract from something even more shocking.


3 How Chocky can be said to be a satire of this, of Cambridge, the British establishment and corporate spying.

There are strong parallels between the novel Chocky and what occurred subsequent to admission and indeed the association between Wyndham and Pauline Lewes can be said to signify the fact that there was an intent to proceed on the basis of what was related in the later parts of that novel which pertain to actions by shadowy government forces.

To reiterate, science fiction is an allegory of real life in situations where things cannot be overtly stated due to censorship or secrecy laws. If one ignores the science fiction aspect of the story involving a “being from outer space”, the story of Chocky is itself an allegory for a real policy on the part of the authorities in that there are very strong parallels between what happened to me and much of what was related in that novel.

As part of their decision to refer to Chocky in my case, they will have been aware or taken account of the fact that

  1. One is meant to supposedly meant to meet a spirit guide in the middle of a jungle clearing who is meant to live within you as part of the experiment. I must report however that I never unfortunately met this jungle spirit nor do I think that it lives within me.
  2. They will also have taken account of my idea for a new form transport which I outlined later and which I had initially mentioned for someone who worked for the home office about a decade or so ago.
  3. They will have elected to benefit from any results of any potential effects such as increase in intelligence or cognitive functioning (theory of mind) and indeed anything else which might arise out of that. İndeed this is precisely what they did attempt to do which is not unexpected because they have had such a policy since the second world war as they have admitted. And indeed, as has become apparent, it has indeed unlocked certain abilities within myself which were not apparent beforehand and which can be traced to this substance.

It should be stated however that although they did attempt to benefit, they had what might be called the reverse midas touch as I relate in later chapters.

Here follows a short synopsis in which respect it might do well to watch the television program and a small summary of the parallels with my experience

1 Chocky – a short synposis

1 Chocky

David Gore becomes concerned that his twelve-year-old son, Matthew, is too old to have an imaginary friend. His concerns deepen as Matthew becomes increasingly distressed and blames it on arguments with this unseen companion, who he calls “Chocky”. Chocky gives him certain powers to understand scientific theories and to do well at school which is remarked upon.

As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that the friend is far from imaginary, but is an alien consciousness communicating with Matthew’s mind — a fact that is of interest to shadowy government forces.

The government forces are alerted because his father being concerned at this ‘imaginary’ voice contacts a friend known as Roy Landis from his alma mater, Cambridge, who happens to be a psychiatrist

Upon Mr Landis talking to Mathew, he concludes that this is not a case of mental ill health and puts the father and the son in touch with a very senior psychiatrist who is working on behalf of some clinic as well as some companies in the energy sector.

Matthew is then kidnapped and injected in order to get hold of the scientific knowledge which Chocky has given him. Chocky then decides to leave because of the harm she feels she has caused.

2 Chocky’s Children

The second series was written in in the 1980s and not by John Wyndham. The story is changed somewhat to suggest that psychiatrist is in fact working on behalf of an American company headed by a Dr Deacon. It still has Matthew under surveillance to see if Chocky will return and carries out corporate spying involving phone taps, informers, accidents as well as another kidnap.

In the summer holidays Matthew meets Albertine, a mathematical prodigy, with whom he discovers he can communicate telepathically. One day Chocky returns to warn Matthew that they are both in danger.

Dr Deacon visit’s Albertine’s father under the pretext of interesting him in some intelligence tests for which Albertine will have to go to his clinic whereas what he is really interested in his her scientific knowledge. He agrees to this.

Matthew recognizes Dr Deacon as one of the people who was involved in the kidnap and attempts to warn Albertine whom he later hides in the nearby woods.

When he returns to tell Albertine, he finds she has disappeared and eventually he finds his way to the clinic whereupon they escape and defeat the psychiatrists involved in running the clinic using certain mental powers

3 Chocky’s Challenge

The third series is set in Cambridge, does not feature Matthew much but a group of children including Albertine who are at Cambridge as gifted undergraduates and who are being “taught” by Chocky who reveals she has visited earth in order to show the world a new source of limitless “cosmic energy” as well as anti-gravity. It’s not very good

İn this series there are amongst other things

  1. Students with certain abilities most notably telepathy and being in possession of certain things as a result of being trained by Chocky.
  2. The attempt by a professor to stop the children going ahead with their project due to that professor’s wish for funding
  3. The ministry of science initially stays in the background employing informers, stealing their project.
  4. They later on reveals themselves and pretend to be interested in the project but with an intent to steal it later and to get rid of the children.
  5. The ministry of science is actually the ministry of defence who end up being afraid of the potential of the work with regards to weaponry and because the children would wish the whole world to benefit, they decide that it should be hidden and attempt by fail to murder one of the children along with Chocky whom they view as a threat.
2 The parallels with my experience

1 Chocky

As above, the fact that one is meant to meet a being (I did not) and gain certain capabilities as part of the experiment is roughly parallel to their overall inspiration for proceeding with the admission and what occurred subsequently. There was a decision to detain me by the intelligence services on the basis on the basis that

  1. They wanted hold of a project that I had developed and which occurred due to the experiment.
  2. I had certain abilities which had become apparent at Pembroke and at Fulbourn due to the experiment and they wanted hold of these.
  3. They wanted to take my ideas which they did do, as one can see from the fact that they copied ideas badly which as I relate in later chapters led to no deal (or an approximation) after certain ideas which were copied rather better by Russia led to Russiagate.

2 Chocky’s Children

  1. The involvement of Dr Deacon in the second series can be said to be Kang Tchou in that he at that time owned a medical services company and was involved in the harassment and the detention.
  2. One can also substitute telepathy for increased empathy with particular respect to that which takes place online. This would have been known about given the fact that experiment helps with theory of mind.

3 Chocky’s Challenge

This does appear very much to be a sly comment upon Cambridge in that it was written in the 1980s during the computer literacy project when “Cambridge was very famous for corporate spying during the 1980s” as Dr Hermann Hauser and Charles Cotton state and as I had been warned about, as I relate in Chapter Four

It is notable that the series does not feature the BBC micro which was then omnipresent throughout Britain and which was developed in Cambridge. The BBC would not make the series for some reason despite the script editors success with Doctor Who. As a consequence, it went over to İTV who some might argue did not wish to show Acorn computers. They had no reason not to given the lack of a rival to the computer literacy project apart from some token efforts with the Sinclair and the fact that ITV was owned by the government (the IBA) and contracted out to companies such as Thames and Granada. ITV at the time did not mean independent of government but independent of the BBC.

The other parallels are obvious:

  1. A student with certain abilities and project, most notably increased empathy over long distance (via the internet as one can see above with the above leak by GCHQ) and being in possession of certain knowledge as a result of experiencing ibogaine.
  2. The attempt by a fellow (Dr Hauser) to stop me going ahead with my project due to his and his sons wish to have hold of it as part of which, the government initially stays in the background employing informers on behalf of Dr Hauser, later resorting to burglary in an attempt to steal my work. Moreover the phone taps, murders and attempts to murder and detentions which I have related on this site resemble the second series.
  3. Professor Simon Baron Cohen pretends to be interested in the project but with an intent to steal it later it in association with Dr Hauser.
  4. The college which is actually part of the intelligence end up begin afraid of the potential of the work most notably with regards to uncovering COINTELPRO. Because I would wish the whole world to benefit and not to conceal the fact, they decide that it should be hidden and attempt by various means to make me hand over my work and stop. This is not all however they wish to conceal.
  5. Given what occurred subsequent and since, it would be fair to state that things did not work out in their favour. Very much the reverse in fact.
3 Initial preparations which were made for after university

During 2012, as I relate in chapter 7 definite rather than putative arrangements were made in conjunction with government, as I relate in chapter 6, to get hold of some work which I was working on. As part of this the harassment started to take off. They felt that my academic performance and the experiment was not working and they wanted a return for their investment.

They wanted rid of me and wanted hold of my work and as such, and as would be hinted at later through for example accesses to my website, they felt that I might like to become a teacher. Indeed it has been suggested by my director of studies that I might like to become a lecturer but obviously they felt that I did not fit the grade what with academic positions being hard to come by and teaching jobs rather easier to fill.

As part of this, they remembered that Hermann Hauser went to Kings college and the reasons for my admission to the college.

They also would remember that I went to a St Pauls school for which I have fondness, partly because even before the formal recognition of aspergers, the PE teacher recognized that I had, at that stage, coordination problems which were inherent to being on the spectrum which in turn resulted from an underdeveloped cerebellum. Provisions were made with almost immediate effect to remedy this which included amongst other things an MRI scan, whereupon it was discovered that my incisors needed removing lest I get blood poisoning, something which the dentist in England had overlooked and which made my father furious.

Compare this with the provision in the UK at the moment particularly when I lived next door to a place which provided for those on the spectrum and when there was no recognition of the fact that I am neurodiverse.

Other reasons were that I learnt French and er English and a disdain for snobbery due to the teachers and because it was a state funded school which was of a higher standard than many private schools in England.

As such they remembered the series Chocky, the actor who played Matthew Gore, who went to another Kings college (in Wimbledon), who went on to study PPE at Oxford and who subsequently decided to teach at a St Paul’s school and then Merchants Taylors’ school.

Moves were made to ensure that he went back to St Pauls School because

  1. The head of classics in that public school went to Oxford and classics at Oxford is of a much higher standard (hence the term “greats”) than at Cambridge which is not generally that highly regarded for classics. Although the former head of classics at St Pauls was from Oxford, she was due to retire and was replaced from someone outside of the school who went to Cambridge. This would have been an avenue of “influence” given that it would have been intended that I would teach classics.
  2. There are more positions available at St Paul’s girls school within the classics department.
  3. Merchants Taylor is more “prestigious”
  4. Employment at Merchant Taylors would have been more difficult particularly given my academic record and the fact that there would have been greater competition for a job teaching classics at such a school, if such a position were available that is.

The actor would perhaps been minded to move because of an lack of apparent career progression when compared to what was apparently on offer at St Paul’s. He is presently deputy headmaster at St Paul’s Girls school whereas he remained solely head of department at Merchant Taylors. If one looks at his interests, he perhaps discouraged from staying in some way given that as one can see from his linkedln profile where his previous school Merchant Taylors does not feature as one of his interests.

I was meant to complete the four years of a degree, then to do a PGCE and then to be guided to teach at that school from 2016, perhaps to ensure perhaps that I would have an arranged friendship with him, ala Michael Hauser Raspe where in the staff room, where it would inevitably become known (either through myself or indeed via a Cabinet Office backchannel) that I gained entry to Cambridge as part of a series of experiments where one is meant to meet a spirit (I did not meet any spirit not unlike Albertine Mayer some might consider).

If this sounds unlikely well they did use the Prime Minister’s personal secretary as part of this and moreover the actor who played Matthew Gore is the only person who could be said to have any level of familiarity with any sort of experience I had had, given that all of the rest of the cast are either retired, dead or still acting.

One can discount this as coincidence, except for what happened next. Someone from the college in 2016 in the year below me also become a teacher and then a head of department. They also worked at a disability charity from the year 2010, at another disability charity in 2012 and were on the welfare committee of the JCR.

The probability that

  1. An actor who starred as Matthew Gore in Chocky, who went to Kings College (school) and who went (or rather taught) at St Pauls (which was the same name as my school) as well as
  2. Someone in the year below me from the college where I was an undergraduate and where the current director of national security and former head of counter-terrorism as well as the former head of counterterrorism were also undergraduates and who also had much experience in dealing with disabilities

should be employed at the same school means that this cannot be a coincidence.

The intent of this move was to ensure that if I did bring up, the little of what I knew about what had occurred, I could be discredited as “mentally challenged”. Things did not however work out that way.

To add to this, one should mention the following. As with any school, there have been applications from pupils to study at the college. From the year 2009-2016, there was a 75% success rate in terms of any student from the school being accepted for a place at the college was 75%. From the year 2001 to 2008, the rate was 12.5% and for the years 1993 to 2000 the rate was 50%. The success rate in recent years is 0%

You might consider that this is perhaps random except for the following which indicates that there was a quid pro quo.

  1. The particularly high success rate in terms of any student from the school  being accepted for a place at the college between the years 2009-2016 occurs during the period when I am in the processing of applying (or considering applying to Cambridge), at Cambridge or indeed when it is though that I might become a teacher.
  2. The last acceptance occurs in 2016 when the person mentioned above from the college becomes a teacher.
  3. The first acceptance occurs in 2009 and is in relation to someone who was not only my college “mother” but who also did the same subject as me. The probability of it being a coincidence that someone from that school, should be my “mother” and should also do the same subject is nil.
  4. As such this would indicate they were aware I might apply in 2008 to Cambridge (I was encouraged to apply to oxford instead) and might be minded to take the drug, so they needed some insurance. In other words it’s a backstop, just in case. To that end
    1. During the intervening period between 2009 and 2016, there is a softening up of the school by the acceptance of candidates, so someone from the college can become a plant (not unlike Luke in the second series).
    2. My college “mother” who I sort of avoided after we become “close” encourages me should it be suggested that I become a teacher to work at the school.
    3. They also make moves to move the actor who played Matthew Gore back to the school.
    4. When the transaction is complete, they stop accepting candidates from the school.

This does in turn reveal the fact that

  1. not only had there been an awareness that I had an interest in the experiments but that they were keen that I should participate in them too. Such an awareness will have come from the person whom I met at Langley who looked like Mulder from the X files and went on the work at a senior level in government and also because there was a preexisting interest in my family.
  2. They are aware of the effects of the drug but their interest cannot have had to do with its “anti smoking properties” in that they wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble for such a substance and will have had something to do with the fact that they expected that it would have an effect in my case. This is demonstrated by
    1. The type of TV programs as noted above upon which they either based their ideas or used as part of a fishing expedition on youtube in particular.
    2. The fact that much of what was outlined in those programs became true but perhaps not in the way they had intended.
  3. As such, they can only have had such an awareness because of preexisting experiments into this substance perhaps in the United Kingdom but more likely as part of MKUltra given that this is the only documented instance of this type of experiment involving a western government.


4 Who in government authorized this and what happened to them


  1. My family background and the apparent interest by myself by the government
  2. A signification that they wanted to undertake the experiment
  3. The reasons for my admission
  4. The fact that I would be embarking upon experimentation on a substance at a place which has strong links with the intelligence services, such a decision cannot have been made by the college or indeed the university alone but can only have been made higher up the chain and the such a decision was taken previous to my application.
  5. The fact that it would have had to have involved various government departments including
    1. The foreign office which is responsible for signals intelligence.
    2. The home office which is responsible for human intelligence and which would have in addition vetted me in order that I might be accepted to such a college in an environment where the establishment are educated and in a college which forms part of the intelligence services.
    3. The department for education who are responsible for universities
    4. The department for health which is responsible for health
  6. The fact that it would have had to have required ministerial authorization, even if ministers are much of the time not fully informed of the decisions and minutiae in that respect of departmental decisions.

It would have had to have involved a coordinating body. This would have been the cabinet office and the minister who would have been responsible would have been the then minister for the cabinet office, Tessa Jowell. Her involvement might however on the face of it seem odd given that neither she nor her permanent secretary went to Cambridge but she did study psychology at university, worked as a psychiatric nurse at the Maudsley and was president of the mental health charity “mind”. Her ministerial responsibilities as well as her personal interest both point to her involvement in the decision to admit me.

The fact that she was responsible is also proven by the mathematics. As a result of subsequent events when I went to Russia and of the possible disclosure of information, there was a need to get rid of witnesses and participants in the decision to admit me. One can tell this by the statistical improbability for the reasons for her illness which occurred shortly before I arrived in Russia.

She died of a brain tumour but when one considers the fact that

  1. Another minister for the cabinet office, Mo Mowlam, also died of a brain tumour.
  2. There were 13 female cabinet ministers during the labour government of 1997-2010. which means that there was a 15.384615385% chance of a female cabinet minister from that administration getting and dying from a brain tumour.
  3. This is improbably high in that
    1. This is 2256 times greater than if you are an ordinary member of the public. The incidence of brain tumours per year in the UK is 4500 out of a population of the UK is 66 million which means that there is only a 0.006818181818181819% chance of getting (and not necessarily dying from) a brain tumour
    2. 2 times as likely as if you were in Pripyat during the Chernobyl explosions. The population of Pripyat was was 49,360 when the disaster struck and the official estimate for the death toll which includes other areas which were affected by fallout from the powerplant is 4000. The proportion of people affected by the biggest nuclear accident the world has seen in Pripyat is 8.103727715%.
    3. More men than women die from brain tumours and in particular the form of brain tumour she had

It would seem very improbable indeed that it would be twice as likely likely for a female labour cabinet minister from that administration to die of cancer than someone who was at Pripyat during the disaster at Chernobyl or indeed 2256 times greater than the population of the UK as a whole.

So on that basis one can only conclude that she was assassinated through some form of radiation poisoning. This is not science fiction and indeed did occur in Communist Romania. It is of course possible to induce other illnesses.

How did they induce the brain tumour? The intelligence services had to avoid the possibility of other people also getting cancer because it would have been suspicious. As such, it would have had to have been something only she would have used or been in contact with and which would have had to have emitted a sustained amount of radiation over a long period. As such, it would have been likely to have been a personal possession which would have been in contact with her skull and as she did not wear glasses, this would have been her phone.

Indeed she herself reported she first noticed she was ill when she was unable to speak which indicates that the brain tumour was near an area known as the broca’s area which is usually on the left hemisphere of the brain and near the ear. As one can see from this phone she is left handed and that phone is where the radiation would have come from.

Indeed it would only have been possible to induce a brain tumour by radiation with a mobile..

The only thing which might on the face of it discount this is the fact that she had long since left government when she got cancer. The timing of her diagnosis however on the 24th of May 2017 as well as the fact that she herself stated it was a fast growing cancer which took 2 to 3 months to develop would appear to indicate the fact that it occurred at the earliest when I had just arrived in Russia in February of that year.

A decision to assassinate and to conceal the fact can only have occurred on the authority of the civil service. It will have occurred due to a decision she made or assented to during a period when she had was in a sensitive position in government which could have only been during the period when she was minister for the Cabinet Office.

The most likely reason is the fact that there was an awareness within the civil service and the US government of the reasons for my admission. They were afraid that the Russian government would discover through background checks the fact that my admission occurred was at the behest of senior civil servants as part of some medical experiments. Moreover it would reveal the fact that I was not the only one and that there was a general policy since the second world war. And given the fact that ministers and especially new ministers are not in control of departments, she would not have been aware of the full implications of what she was doing and they wanted to keep her from speaking out which was succesful given the fact that she was preoccupied with her illness and then her death.

The facts are as follows

  1. A statistical analysis proves that Tessa Jowell was murdered.
  2. This must have occurred for a reason.
  3. It was concealed.
  4. This can only have occurred due to the actions of the civil service.
  5. It must have been in relation to some sensitive work or knowledge of something sensitive.
  6. Looking at all her other cabinet positions, this can only have been the cabinet office.
  7. She was only minister for the cabinet office for a few short months.
  8. It occurred years afterwards and would have occurred because of the fact that there was disquiet at the potential for her speaking out at that point in relation to something sensitive which she was aware due to her ministerial position.
  9. The only plausible explanation is because of the fact that I was in position whereby it was felt that I might leak something sensitive due to my presence in Moscow.
  10. In other words they wanted her to keep quiet about the experiment

One must ask why there was a decision chosen to give Tessa Jowell a brain tumour in particular? İt is no doubt because a death by any other means would seem suspicious and female officials never get bumped off by the intelligence services (unlike David Kelly or perhaps some argue although I don’t see it Robin Cook). This might be because of a wish not to put off women from becoming politicians or civil servants or because of plain sexism and deciding not to attack someone from the fair sex. If you will it is less suspicious for men to die and women to become ill. Moreover politicians and others saying what a hero she was would help to conceal the murder.

Was Mo mowlam’s death an assassination? The answer that it is unlikely because she got cancer before being elected to parliament and not when she was in a sensitive position. If indeed it was, which seems unlikely, it would have had to do with who she was and what she had got up to before she become a member of parliament and I fail to see what it could have been particularly given the fact that they were unsuccessful. Given the unimaginative nature of the intelligence services, they would, as they in many cases, used her case and indeed the reaction to it as a template.

The fact that Tessa Jowell was murdered is also indicated by the fact that at the same time as she became ill, the aforementioned senior civil servant who was involved in the decision to admit me to Cambridge for experiments took early retirement.. I shall not name him because I do not sense he is the sort of person to make these decisions but here nonetheless is a screenshot of his linkedln profile with the details redacted.

Other individuals who may perhaps be said to pertain to this part of the history include the following civil servants

  1. The Permanent secretary at the home office Sir Hugh Taylor who went to Emmanuel College Cambridge and who had worked as Permanent secretary at the department for health during the period when there was a decision to admit me would have taken part in the decision to admit me. He subsequently became the chair of St Thomas and Guys NHS health trust where after the harassment I experienced which, as I relate in chapter six was on the orders of the cabinet office, there was a decision to detain and then recruit me by the FCO. Other indications of his involvement are the fact that in 2015 Sir Hugh took up a post as independent Chair of the Accelerated Access Review for bringing innovative medical technologies to NHS patients.
  2. Lord Ricketts who was permanent secretary at the foreign office (2005-2010) during the period which led up to my admission and the former national security advisor (2010-2012) at the cabinet office during the period after I had been admitted, took the decision to move to a very junior position in comparison and become the British ambassador to France in 2012. To move from such a senior position is indeed unusual to say the least within the civil service and there must have been a pretext. Given the fact that my parents then lived in France and given the fact that it had been felt I might move there should anything go wrong, he was perhaps sent there to cover as potential insurance.